a dream or a life

for the past few weeks, i’ve been having conflict feelings.

sometimes, i dream that its still possible

other times, i face the harsh reality of life and see a glimpse of what’s really going on

this kind of situation would have forced anyone to quit but why am i still standing here at this y-junction?

sometimes i think that i’m standing still because i hope to be able to fulfill that fairytale dream of mine of loving one person for eternity and live happily ever after

sometimes i think i’m remaining still because i’m still picturing the “fairytale” situation if she hadn’t left telling myself what if.

but then what has happened has happened.

let’s look at the facts

she admits she likes a guy, who we don’t know. unlikely to be me

a heart in her display name, hits the nail on the coffin pretty hard

response from me:
and here i am still trying to imagine that it might be me

yes, i know its wrong to sulk and wait. i’ve been trying to find my life, hanging out with new people, working hard, playing hard, sleeping lots, trying to rid my head of that one person who keeps popping back in

yeah sometimes i manage days without thinking about her, but when a good thought about her hits me, i fall back into that well and try to climb out again

i don’t know whether i can seal the well shut for good, probably it would take some other girl

i know i won’t be saying “what if” forever, one day, it’s gonna hit me smack in the face and let me wake up. butt or i could see what happens in another ten years

AHHH. there i go again. the same but i put after ever negative comment. the wrong thing about me is I’M TOO DAMN OPTIMISTIC. i always believe there’s hope, always a but after no. i will never change, i know it, i’ll just keep on conflicting myself till the die I die

so yes the answer is a drife or a lream, whichever keeps me going on, soul or souless.


One thought on “a dream or a life

  1. jason, u hv two choices, stand at the imaginary y and continuing wasting ur life, or move on and walk right in the center, putting this behind u until other opportunities arise, for now the most important is to pull urself together ad prove urself in sch and all

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