the beginning of the end

i sit here again, thinking over the same question again and again and again

but no clear answer comes to my mind

there are no more reasons for me to ponder wait, yet i still do.
there is concrete evidence that she has moved on, yet i stay here like a stone
there has not been a single line exchanged since forever, yet i still wait everyday for a miracle to happen
there has not been a single glance exchanged, yet i still wait for that moment to happen.

i realize that i’ve been dreaming.
i’ve been liking the girl, not according to her present self, but the “her” that i used to know. the one that i used to laugh with and yell with.

i dun know what she is now. i dun know what she has become. i dun even know if she’s slightly the same as i used to know her. yet, i still stay.

my brain is like a sieve. everytime, i try to think, it shakes, allowing bits and peices to fall through, leaving me with a more abstract image of her. i know that it’s impossible yet i still hope for a miracle, a miracle that will take me back in time and remeet this perfect person

i have finally began to understood that it’s time to move on and let go


but still, deepinsidesomewhere, i still wait, wait for the ending of the story that the author never quite finished.


One thought on “the beginning of the end

  1. it’s good that you finally realize the truths in this matter

    the process of healing is slow and painful, I know that, but I’m sure you’ll pull through just fine

    it was destiny that led to the separation and I’m sure it will also lead to a better opportunity or person in the coming years

    the most important thing right now is to pull urself together and beat the crap out of work and lessons!

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