thinking in the wrong direction

currently listening to the my inner voices debating against each other

it’s 2am in the morning, i’m sleepy, but it’s though as something is missing

it’s not my brother cuz he’s usually alseep already

it’s not work cuz i have enough of it

it’s not tv episodes cuz i just finished one

it’s not songs cuz i’ve been carrying my ipod everywhere i go these few days

there’s only one thing left: girls

i’m not horny or anything. it’s just i rmb the nights when i stayed up to wait for that one phone call. even for 5 minutes, i would crawl out of bed, to hear her voice go extremely weakly, “hi”.

i know i’m asking for trouble if i’m thinking in this direction, but it’s not like there’s any hope anyway

i guess i have to admit the feeling is still there.

not as passionate, not as glorious, something i wouldn’t even admit if i was in a clearer state of mind

even if the chance came now, i wouldn’t take it.

my only hope is that maybe 20 years later, when we’ve forgotten all about this stupid child puppy love

when we’ve changed for the better

then i guess i might take my chances again.

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One thought on “thinking in the wrong direction

  1. geez, y are we adolescent boys all doomed to only fill our minds with girls, I mean c’mon there are so many other things to thinkg abt, but deep down we all know that’s all we care abt

    o well, I’m glad ur all chill now, and I think I kinda understand that lingering feeling, but I dun thinkt hat 20 yrs or 50 yrs will make any difference, thigns would have changed and everyone would have moved on

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