snippets of thoughts i have had over the past month

note #1

i didn’t feel sad. i actually felt kinda weightless now that we’re broke up.

i dun know but i dun think i wanna be in a relationship right now

it’s just very tiring having a girl

with carmen, i always had some kind of obligation to talk to her, to reply her

with “her”, i always had an obligation to please her, to make her not hate me.

i guess i really rushed into this thing, liking carmen and all that.

is it tht my view of love had changed or was it that i actually didn’t like her in the way i thought i was

note #2

ahhh fuck.

fuck fuck fuck

summer work does not sound as glorious as it is

it started out fine. making some fund requestletters.

i understood making edited versions. the 1st, 2nd.

it started becoming mundane. but now it is just straight out excessive.

it’s my fucking 5th draft, and the reason is because it should be operations costs with an “s” not operation cost

i mean being perfect is good and professional. but i just don’t seem to understand the logic behind this stupid nuisance of singulars and plurals

it’s just dumbass. that no s and yes -s.who gives a shit.

when i co-worker handed me over that “imperfect’ set of letters, i just fucking wanted to knock her straight in the head like in wanted

but yeah, calmness. counting from one to ten so i don’t make myself look like a jerk.

note #3
we say life is controlled by big things, but don’t you think that life is actually

more influenced by those small and little things

one less screw and nail can weaken a building, and kill

one small germ can multiply and wreak havoc in public

one mosquito can disperese and affect millions

and that’s why we have rules.

rules to make sure we do the right thing. to make sure we don’t make mistakes

but sometimesi think rules stifle our imagination, stifle our power, and capactiy to do more than is told.

think of the number of thigns you’re always limited from doing

labor laws
laws covering all the nuisances and giving headaches to the lawyers, employers and accountants

running only a certain number of laps

writing more than the maximum number of words

but i guess rules must be there, because the majority of us are commoners. haha

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One thought on “snippets of thoughts i have had over the past month

  1. haha I’ll reply to the notes separately

    I know exactly exactly how u feel, rushing into things never end up well, and it just totally turned my appetite off for anything serious for a long time, so join the club bro

    mundane tasks are part of life, and most ppl reli only do that for their life every day, so it’s a gd experience, the pursuit of perfectness is not new and u know whenever u do a project u try ot make it perfect too, y? coz u wanna impress, if not, then y even bother doing it?

    without rules the world will fall because ppl will only act without thinking of any consequences or without values, and a society can not exist without individuals sacrifising and living together in harmony, that’s w tI think

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