these two months have been really long
from the beginning of the crazy short relationship, to the hardwork, to the inspired week of mediation, to the holiday, to the music, to the service trip
it’s hard to believe i accomplished all this in two months.
i can say that i’ve learned quite a big deal about myself, esp in terms of my interests, my thought process, my principles and all that
but when it comes to the topic of girls, i have to say i’m more lost than i was
now that i’ve reached this topic. le’ts see what i can make out of it tonight
i tried to reason myself into emotions before. it worked the first time, it screwed up the second.
you might think that it’s proving that logic/reasoning is irrelevant to love but i should say that the first time, the emotions were much greater. the second time, it was on impulse.
post edit #1: just finished a debate session with the boys and talked with “her”
i have to say it felt suddenly like the old times. but instead of
getting wrapped in the debate, or getting intent on forcing katherine
i observed teh debate from afar and made awesome observations. also, i
didn’t really talk which actually made “her” SOOO MUCH MOREEE
post edit #2: woke up this morning, and it dawned on me of the fact that today was the one year anniversary the marked the start of the downfall or our thing
i know i can’t blame school transfer anymore because it ain’t the reason. i just do so because i have no control over it, so it seems almost like we were meant to break up
but now i know that sth must have gone terribly wrong in the series of events, in the series of actions, decisions.
but i know that, it’s not worth going down this path of no return, making myself crazy and figuring out what went wrong
if we are meant to be, suposed to be, i’m sure nothing can stop us.