refelctions of the long summer nights

these two months have been really long

from the beginning of the crazy short relationship, to the hardwork, to the inspired week of mediation, to the holiday, to the music, to the service trip

it’s hard to believe i accomplished all this in two months.

i can say that i’ve learned quite a big deal about myself, esp in terms of my interests, my thought process, my principles and all that

but when it comes to the topic of girls, i have to say i’m more lost than i was

now that i’ve reached this topic. le’ts see what i can make out of it tonight

i tried to reason myself into emotions before. it worked the first time, it screwed up the second.

you might think that it’s proving that logic/reasoning is irrelevant to love but i should say that the first time, the emotions were much greater. the second time, it was on impulse.

post edit #1: just finished a debate session with the boys and talked with “her”

i have to say it felt suddenly like the old times. but instead of
getting wrapped in the debate, or getting intent on forcing katherine
to talk

i observed teh debate from afar and made awesome observations. also, i
didn’t really talk which actually made “her” SOOO MUCH MOREEE

post edit #2: woke up this morning, and it dawned on me of the fact that today was the one year anniversary the marked the start of the downfall or our thing

i know i can’t blame school transfer anymore because it ain’t the reason. i just do so because i have no control over it, so it seems almost like we were meant to break up

but now i know that sth must have gone terribly wrong in the series of events, in the series of actions, decisions.

but i know that, it’s not worth going down this path of no return, making myself crazy and figuring out what went wrong

if we are meant to be, suposed to be, i’m sure nothing can stop us.

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One thought on “refelctions of the long summer nights

  1. a clear mind is always something useful in all situations, some more so than others

    on developing emotions i have to say I have to learn from you more to be able to express and learn

    but to discover oneself doesn’t only require blind impulses, it requires a balance between emotion and conscience, there is no one solution

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