the forced smile

i don’t know how this happened to me.

how i saw “life”.

i was always reluctant to move on in life. reluctant to forget someone. reluctant to admit i’m too old for stuff.

my mom tells me how i should always smile. smile at this, smile at that

smile to people you do’nt know and know alike

i did. i used to

but now i don’t

have i lost the cheeriness in life. maybe.

have i lost my optimism

have i lost my hope for a better world

it seems that i’ve finally seen this world. this world in its grey, hideous, revolting manner.

the sad truth that no matter how much we do, the world will not change drastically because of our actions

smiling to a stranger to change the world. smiling won’t make the life a better place. it won’t. it takes bigger things.

they’ll just see you as some weirdo

i’ve seen too many sad stories, too many things of disappointment of grief that i no longer see this world like i used to.

the white world with lots of color

it’s more like monochrome now. sad, dull, without vigor

the thought that my actions are restricted by this and restricted by that truly discourage me

i can’t bear the fact when i get married. what’s going to happen to me

it’s quite depressing.

i know i’m going in the wrong direction, but then probably it’s just a bad day.


One thought on “the forced smile

  1. Jason that’s not a fair statement, if you think about it, a smile represents inner satisfaction and joy, it might not be present at all times, but a smile not only makes you happy, it also makes people around you happier and feel better

    sometimes it’s not only about us, it’s about people around us too, and think about that, our happiness can be hinged with other people’s happiness and other people’s happiness also hinges on our happiness

    I would like to think that we should always look at what can be, not what should have been, so do so with optimism!! go forth!

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