i guess it really does takes times like these, 2 am in the morning, when your brain is finally cleared of those distractions that block from writing a personal piece like this
well it’s 2009, which says i’ve been on my “soul searching journey” for almost a year now.
as cliche it will sound, i’ve changed a lot this year. from those depressing early months to today, i mean seriously i’ve changed in many ways
gone is my conviction that this world is innately good. it has become apparent that this world is capricious, impossible to predict. when you find altruistic acts of goodness, and then you find these reprehensible detrimental things that people do to others. it’s awfully disgusting
trying to navigate in this world is quite difficult. i tried to come up with strategies, styles of treating events that happened. the suave way, the cool way. by now, i’ve understood that there really is no way to predict a game as random as life. life is a “black swan” – a large-impact, hard-to-predict, and rare event beyond the realm of normal expectations (Nassim Taleb). There really is no fail proof way to navigate yourself.
i mean there are conventional methods that people have created but ultimately the time when it actually matters the most, it’s gonna fail.
yes, i have no more ideas about navigating this compliated, arbitrary things called life. there’s no rules, patterns to find cuz there are none
i think that is because of the universal fact that humans are fickle, ephermal (in the grand scheme of things) and mercurial. we change so fast, we change so quickly. we make a decision and almost change it instantly.
humans are also situation-dependent or a less technical word, easily influenced into either a correct path and wrong path
lastly, humans are shallow or unrealistic, as in like we don’t see things with a wide enough scope
combing these three traits, we have an animal that is the perfect formula for doomsday. why do i say that
imagine a person who is extremely influenced by his outer world. for example he decides to buy stocks. and then he listens to his broker’s recommandations and buys a stock. the stock starts to fall but this man is fickle and has many many ideas about making his decison. he’s constantly going through cross analysis, weighing pros and cons for a final answer. moreover, he doesn’t wanna be proven wrong, and he has a hope that the stock will rise because of expert’s predictions. and down goes the stock. droppoing 90%. he’s saying i’ve nothing to lose if i’ve lost 90% already, then the company goes bankrupt.
a man once said that we are sure of nothing except death
allow me to add one more line, one is sure of nothing except death AND making mistakes
the world’s doomsday clock is at 23:59:59 (24:00:00 being doomsday). i mean if we make one more “big” mistake, we’re screwed.
yes scientists are trying to save the world but humans in general dont’ have the capicity to do that. scientists themselves realize that what we know is like neglible in the span of the information we need. we don’t know enough to make inventions or discoveries to save this world. we have all these wild theories that need to be tested out.
our expansion of knowledge is based on the process of trail and error. no one can really ingeniously come up with new theorems without testing it out.
i mean that itself is already our death sentence
we dont’ know what we’re doing to the world. we’re doing it with absolutely no understanding of its effects and the future. and then we fail every time.
how many times does earth ahve for us to try again. earth is like space invadaers, you’ve got only a limited number of lives, no matter how many coins you put in. there is a definite amount of tries we have
i guess that’s the pessimistic view i ahve about mankind, abou our eventual destruction and extinction. i wouldn’t be surprised.
but probably, you’re asking now about life on earth. if i’m sure about the destruction of mankind, how are u going to best use the rest of your time you have?
these 4 principles i guess
1) don’t learn smart
2) do good
3) and do your best
4) then, let it go
dont learn smart, as in dont’ try to find some kind of new meaning in a life lesson or whatsoever. in the end, you have all these theories that are just excuses people give themselves for failing sth. not learning smart gives us a fresher mind, always because we’re not concerned about past experiences. each experience is a new experience, independent of others.
do good. i mean here as in doing good deeds and so on. i’m not superstitious about what goes arond, comes around. but i mean it’s reasonable right. you do something good to one person, they pass it on and on and it’ll be reach you again. so do good and it might be given to you at the moment when you need it the most
do your best. it’s not hard to understand right? if we have nothing to lose, if we know we are doomed for destruction, why not try our best? why not. we’ve only got one shot, one chance, one life time. why not give it our fullest and push ourselves to the limits. often times, you’ll feel tired and discouraged. but rmb to ask yourself this “if you don’t do it now, when will you EVER do it?”
and finally, let it go. as i said earlier, life is a black swan. there are no conventional models, methods we can use to predict, analyze it. life will bring you wherever it wants to like the wind carrying a sailing ship. i have religious faith which possible makes this easier on me. i know that God has a plan for me so i can face each day with energy and vigor to fulfill this purpose.