at a crossroad (written dec 28, 08)

do u really think ur feelings for her can last till next year

and do u fink even if it does..will u start making excuse for urself again

these were the two questions a friend of mine had asked me.
it all starts from how i like a person, but can’t get together with that person. assholely (my new word), i gave off the wrong intentions, and now i need a break a heart

as the old adage goes, one needs to find his past before he can find his present

i guess there’s only one stop on this journey to the past, to the relationship between me and “her”

i probably will not ever recall a better honeymoon period than that one
we were both so scared but everything just somehow turned out right

but when the problems arised. it was like an immovable shield against a invincible spear.

i persuaded, but she stayed unmoved. and the final winner was her

at the end, i gave in my everything, and she gave me lemons to eat.

my definition of relationships were simple. you give in your 100%, and hope for the best.

but after losing her, this definition totally changed

i would give in minimal, and stay aloof and see what happens before i put more into it

she also created for me a perfect image of a gf. like anyone who was less in any sort of way was
and now my reasons are academics, are time management, are distraction

and yes i return to my current relationship dilemma

she is not the one because i know i’ll get annoyed at her for her crankiness and emotional dependence

i won’t be able to give up enough to continue the relationship

yes, it is gonna start with sorry again.

One thought on “at a crossroad (written dec 28, 08)

  1. jason, y did u never mention this to me? if u ever wanna talk more in more detail I guess I’m here

    dun hurt anyone, so dun go for it if u know u wont’ honor the commitment

    dun become detached abt life either tho, juz coz uve fallen once doesn’t ull fall always

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