the two girls

in my life right now, there are two girls whom i both kinda like

in other circumstances, i would have considered myself a cheater but right now i really am clueless

let’s just call the first girl A

she is what they usually call an A type personality. extremely extremely picky about details, easily agitated by small things but highly motivated (for certain things), highly driven, efficient, hard worker, tries her best. individualistic. very quiet, silent, shy

let’s call second girl B

she is absolutely crazily happy and high you won’t believe she’s not on drugs. slow, stubborn but so energetic and cheerful that it puts a smile on everyone’s face. very dependent on other’s emotions, opinions. but will do anything to help a friend. a bit stubborn but very loyal till the very end to a person. unreserved, flirty, crazy, talkative

to me, this is like comparing facism and communism

we are at two extremes. one is the direct opposite of the other.
however, there is something about each of them that draw me to them like a magnet

A is like me at home. quiet, hardworker, focused. we ARE very driven people, aimed at doing and achieving our best. there’s that coolness around her that puts a layer of ice around her. gracefully beautiful. the artistic, perfect, poised, heart-melting smile, the chosen words. there is something about her grace that is seductive. her smile seems to just draw me closer every time. she does not have to speak but only needs to stand. it is already very very pretty.

B is the part which i am missing from life, the vitality, the energy, the optimism. she is absolutely nuts, to an extreme kind of point. she does things i don’t agree with, which i think is stupid, which i think is immature and just plain nonesense. however, her maniac laugh, her unreserved, unrestrained emotions are so pure and real. they’re not posed, carefully constructued. if it’s a stupid idea, it comes out that way without any packacing. it is that kind of raw emotion (stupidity to a certain sense) that really touches and draws me, touches me behind my layers of armor i have put on to protect myself against the slicing reality.

one is what i want and one is what i need.

needs and wants.

which to fulfill?


One thought on “the two girls

  1. bummer dude

    y does this dilemma sound so eerily familiar

    actually for once I’m not going to give you the diplomatic response, I say go with B, and go with B big time

    you really need the energy and vitality in your rather dull and monotonous life, if she makes you a happier man, the relationship will be worth it

    what you need is not a serious, needy relationship right now

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