very very nice

all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our
lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in
sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl
I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all
count. But there are certain people you love who do something else;
they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These
are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four
or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still
one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes
that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always
happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the
template for what you will always love about other people, even if some
of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You
will remember having conversations with this person that never actually
happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never
technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your
personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real,
and the feelings are real—but you create the context. And context is
everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not
inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the
person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to
love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose.
Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about
everyone else.”

(Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live)

very very nice


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