returning —-

in the short span of time you have left this land, (hopefully there has not been in a major change in its apperance) your home has changed despite its static appearance. you similarly have changed from the traveling you have done

at first, there is a feeling of out of sync between you and your home, the most different being different time zones. but more subtly, the psychological feeling of going home. 

For a period of time, the word home has been used to label some place else rather than the place you’re returning back to. and when you open your eyes to see your home again, the world seems oddly different because inside, you are still thinking of that foreign land that you just returned from.

the sky is bluer there. the leaves are greener there. the world is prettier there.

i miss it there.

the same dialogue is probably happening in everyone’s mind. you are convinced that home will not be as good and fantastic as that foreign land half away around the world. you believe that memories from those days abroad will never fade, that friendships will continue to blossom amid distance and different lives.

while staring outside the window and imagining that foreign land, you eyes bounce across the landscape and come upon striking images: the place in a different shade of light or seen from a different angle. it is like seeing a new place as a patient with amnesia. soon enough, your memory starts to return to you; it starts to recall all of these things that you were once familiar to and associates them together.

soon, your brain is swamped by the same responsibilities and problems and issues that you left behind.

that was the conversation in my brain the whole time.

during this whole trip, i’ve not done anything else either than relax. in a place far from where i came from, i just went autopilot and let instincts control my actions. simply, you could interpret that as a cycle of sleep -> eat -> walk around -> eat -> sleep. i do not recall thinking of a math symbol over those 11 days or a single music scale. it surely is a great feeling to come home again feeling refreshened by the memories abroad.

but i know that staying refreshed is an impossible task. sooner or later, i will again succumb to the onslaught of problems in life. it makes me wonder what life would be if we lived in a different place every time. but the idea itself is inconceivable because it is simply impossible. civilization is based on stability, on order. efficiency comes from practice and tht is difficult if we’re living in different locations.

traveling gives us an experience that makes us learn, but it is regretably something we cannot always do


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