in rags.

i saw a woman in rags in beijing train station.

she held out her hands and begged for money. she was covered in clothes, not rags so it was presumable that she might not be living on the streets. but china’s lack of a social security net would mean that she probably has zero income.

so begging has become her way of making a income.

it’s all speculation. but just for argument sake that all of my guesses are accurate and right.

she walked towards us, staggering every step of the way. her dark skin is glued to her face, in which some places the glue has stop working, resulting in crevices like valleys. it’s almost as if its a piece of plastic which lost its elasticity, a peice of oversized membrane. surrounded by it is two black pupils, so black that look like bottomless pits. light is sucked in and never reflected. she holds out her hands which again is old, slow like the Three Sisters in Greek Mythology. but she is not holding anything but rather she is asking for the cure to any diesease, money.

i stood thinking what to do. by giving her money, i would enable this people to believe that life is as easy as begging for your life. i would enable people to put down their remaining in themselves and self esteem in order to survive for another day of torture. nth will change unless someone comes and takes her to a hospital or elderly home. there are millions of people still hungry, why should we let her think that reward will come regardless of input.
but there is the other viewpoint that she didnot want this for her life. nobody wants to become a beggar. to beg someone for your survival and to put down your pride is a punishment more destructive than physical pain.
perhaps it was enable this woman, because $1 will not help her. but i set out to help this world at all costs. the world is dark, evil, leading itself towards self destruction. i myself am a source of destruction from man kind’s indulgene in comfort, choices, greed. but it is such which makes me try so much harder to save the world, to repay my own debt as well.


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