still got some posts in my head and half written on paper. couldn’t be bothered to finish them.
the end of summer 09
summer unfortunately as of last night has ended.
i ended my summer slightly earlier when i went on a final walk with a close friend
i haven’t really been busy this summer. not flying around doing all sorts of ib prep courses. just the simple: euphonium, college apps and socializing
of course, i would most like to touch upon my socializing.
i’ve definitely become more laid back this summer, kinda lounging about, going out meeting friends.
unlike previous summers, i actually have not been going around looking for traps to fall into ie relationships. LOL.
haven’t engaged in much deep thought. none of those 2am writing sessions anymore. my body can’t really take it. just sleep when i’m tired.
i’ve surprisingly become confidants for some people, not something i’ve ever expected previously.
was not exactly excited going to school. i mean i was reallyhappy everybody was still there safe, taller, bigger, smarter, energetic
but i just didn’t want to get back into the swing of things. once i get back into things, it’ll be another three months before i come to my senses and realize where i’m at
once i start working, i forget the world around me and just plough through. i just like summer, cuz at least i’m consciously aware of my changing thoughts/feelings everyday.
in some ways, i feel less motivated than last year. somehow the urge is not with me anymore. school is fun, enjoyable not a place of competition and killing (thanks to one of my zen master friends). realizing that its my last year, it suddenly seems so much more different. sigh… age
i guess i’m concerned about this person. i fear that the next time i look around the realationship between us will have changed, casual again. it will require all this impossible luck to retains its primary freshness and closeness. really, I guess that’s really the only thing i’m concerned about
it would be nice if i could at least put down my daily thoughts some how in this chaotic schedule, spend an hour or so thinking everyday