all over the place

i really dislike writing a post after a camp because there’s always so much to include: all my thoughts, all my musings. and i hafto fit All of it into a coherent passage. due to time constraints and the impending onslaught of homework, i figured that i’ll just write and not care about coherency. sorry

i love going to hikes. as i was explaining to vi tsui, it’s like the best way to destress. on the hike, you think about nothing except hiking and having fun. the day you get back home, you’re so fatigued you just fall asleep the moment you reach the bed. after ten, twelve hours of sleep (depends on the person since i’ve heard of tracie sleeping 16), you’re fully re-freshened for whatever you hafta face.

the hike part was good. since there weren’t any little noobs tagging along. we hiked up lantau peak at 4am in the morning to catch the sun rise. we always walked like 10-20 minutes under our estimate time since we were like walking mad.

i got a few things right this time around. i didn’t screw up again. i was constantly reminding myself not to make the same mistake. i suddenly realized my urge was to protect.

i suddenly realized how the world operated from that little revelation. there are lots of little sheep in the world, easily strayed into the wrong path and end up dropping off a cliff and getting seriously hurt. they are so sor. they just aimlessly run around. yet it is their snow white fleece which makes them so valuable. they have the innocence, the naivety to look at life in a forgotten way which makes them so capitivating

then, there are Shepperd dogs, the smart people who for some reason can’t bear to see sheep jump off the cliff. so the shepperd dogs act as guardian angels, protecting these sheep without them knowing, secretly guiding them towards the right path.

i think i finally straightened out that emotion

as we were sitting inside teh bungalow. all 12 of us, friends for years, 6 years for me, some of them friends for more than a decade for others, i felt a strong sense of belonging. it was like a big family. these same people have accompanied me on each of our scout expeditions, each experiencing the same internal and external growth. at that moment, i felt like a part of a big family, with scouter keung and scouter theresa in the middle being our parents. sometimes, i complain about never getting to try new stuff as i’ve been part of these groups since the beginning of my student life at this school. but it takes moment like these to let me appreicate all the things that i’ve gained as being part of this community.

for some reason, there have been a massive increase in number of senior year high school couples, those that continue well into uni life.

i heard somewhere (tv show i presume) that the reason why university students bond so well, continue to be friends well into their adulthood, is because they grew up together. maybe that’s why these senior high school couples have been successful. i would presume it’s the amount of work that we’re getting from ib that’s prompting this internal growth. previously, students at our skl were too hea to be forced to mature.

recently, i’ve been told by many by the ingenuity of our friend “chinese mozart” how he can dispel all worries, criticism, trouble and continue to excel and at the same time displease many people. he’s the time of person who grows internally, with not apparent catalyst, just evolving at his own pace.

at the same time, i admire him and wish to emulate him. yet i realize how it would be impossible for me to exist like that.
just to provide my own pov, how can you exist in your own little sphere and have zero interactions with the world around you. i thrive on the outside world. i receive information, learn things from this world. and from there, these events trigger internal reflection. events, people, things in my life prompt me to take a step back during idle hours like this to look into my own life. and for that, i realize i can only continue to admire people like them

last night of the camp, we were walking towards the beach to catch the sunset, which we effectively missed. i was walking with fred and bsing about seeing the sunset how we could understand “the dissapointment and pleasure in observing these celestial objects, which makes us realize our infinitesimally small existence” definitely total bs.
but then, it just shows all the nature of all these posts, internal musings.

they’re just our perception of things in life, which we will disagree with the very next second. what fuels us to keep reading is our curiosity in other people’s lives and our hunger for more ideas, more perspectives.

again, i apologize for this post. it’s all over the place, ask me if u need clarification


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