in all honesty, i’m disappointed. but i mean everybody would be. if you were told you had the qualifications but didn’t make it, everyone would feel disappointed.

but i had expected something like this. i’m not the top applicant.
i knew my mom would go crazy and starting overreacting like shit. now she wants me to do more ivy leagues. i don’t know what to make of this situation. she’s probably as hypocritical anyone can ever be. it annoys me to no end how fucked up she can act, totally violating all her promises, all her conduct, all her code for something that i’ve already accepted.

i’m glad i have the friends i do. i know they would help me in an eyeblink (as long as it didn’t violate their moral code). despite their tough guy appearances, i know all of them support me in whatever i do. but i can’t violate my own code to do shit that i had teased other people about. i can’t bend myself backwards. i’m not sure but i think they see in me what they would be if they didn’t have their iq. i honestly sincerely know that i dont’ have thier iq, i’m not as smart, not as quick but damn i try hard.

i think the reason why i’m still able to move along is because of my friends. everyone’s working hard and it motivates me to work hard too. i laught at people and people laugh at me. it’s the type of comradeship that keeps me going on, bearing in mind that we’ll be miles apart next year same time.

the more I do my apps, the more i realize i only have tow rite honestly. wherever i end up is where i’m supposed to end up. the essays are for personality match. forcing anything does not make me a better applicant. it takes away the whole purpose of the process.

i hope everyone’s dreams will be fulfilled.


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