impure

it’s easy to get lost in a city, even if you’re a native like me, born, raised and lived in the city for his whole life.

it doesn’t take too much, just stand inside the Central mtr station during rush hour time and feel the human beings walking past you. it’s the feeling of insignificance

i always considered myself a city boy, being here for so long. i was quite sure i would native by any standards. but i don’t feel it. maybe being native/indigenous is not the right word. it’s more about the mentality, a matter of fitting in

it’s kind of scary to see all these people, all look mildly handsome and pretty, all having pretty nice clothes, pretty nice phones. it makes me feel so… insignificant. it’s that all the qualities that i thought i was unique to have seem to be replicable by everyone

i, them. what’s the difference between us.

to be honest, i have nothing. everything i own, i have, is equally accessible and obtainable by everyone else. i have nothing left except the space between my forehead and my hair. that’s the only thing i can claim to be mine.

it hurts especially right after you see avatar. we’ve thrived on being systematic, organized which allows us to overcome any of our disabilities, leading us to what we believe as more sophisticated and higher life. Hong Kong, being one of the finest examples of that in the world, should make me feel proud.

but there should be something different, some more than systematic organization. the avatars, they have more than their soul and brain. they have a connection with their world, the Eywa. they have a winged creature which is theirs for life. Do we have unique cars that can only be driven by us. no.

it leads me to think of what we are. what special thing do we as humans have compared to others. i am not saying that there is extraterrestrial life but what do we actually have to makes humans special.

what kind of relationship do we have with our world, our surroundings. through their hair, avatars can communicate soul to soul with creatures.

behind false facades, we can lie against the whole world. i long that honesty. i’ve never beeen able to bring myself to be like that. i yearn to run like an Avatar, but most important to express yourself truly with Eywa.

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