ateen ~ eighteen

(nice word pun?)

i realized i was 18 yesterday when i finished IB and was having dinner at a relative’s place. i was offered a cup of wine and for the first time since i was born, i couldn’t say no because i was underaged or because i had to study. there were no more excuses.

and suddenly the more i thought about it, the more choices i realized i had to make. all the choices that i had been previously shielded from because of school, because of studying were now in front of me.

then, my grandma whom i really respect sitting not far from me, said “Jason, don’t learn to drink wine. it will influence your behavior (酒会乱性). i know because my family used to own a wine factory. you don’t what you’re doing when you drink wine and you’ll regret what u did.”

as much as i’ve said i wanted to lead a sort of rebellious life for the next few years in uni, couldn’t help but start chewing on my grandma’s words ever since last night.

people drink for various reasons but i don’t know what mine will be. i’ve lived a life to know that alcohol won’t bring me friends that i want. i want to be in control of my actions anyway. there’s no greater regret that doing something that you had no idea you did. making a fool of yourself, unprotected sex, barfing. movies say it enough: people wake up regretting things they did the crazy night before.

i thought i was looking forward to the party animal culture of american unis. don’t know about it anymore.

note: if you were wondering about drugs and smoke. i’m NEVA EVA going to do those. people that do those are just on9 zhai.

update #1: should i start going to church this summer?

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