imma selfish bitch

imma selfish bitch.

i forget about other ppl and only rmb about myself, my benefits, my sacrifices, my trade-offs. i’ve never been able to live for anyone except myself.

but i know i’m not 勁賤. that’s definitely way over the top.

i don’t even remember what i forget. i remember the events, i remember the moments. but it’s just my whole attitude towards these things, a bit like going home for the first time in many years. you know it but it just seems unfamiliar.

was it from my reluctance to tell Nathan because i didn’t want him to be influenced?

i deserve the insults, the abuses. in a way, it’s what i wanted: to be the jerk that no one likes. but it’s really painful now that i’m here.
i want to understand what’s wrong. what’s with this lethargic me who still has so much to talk to you about.

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