summer solistice

somewhere somehow, summer solistice has already passed by without any warning.
as such, the least occupied summer of my lifetime has already passed its midpoint.

i know the following few days will be the free-est moments i will ever have in my life since i’m home alone and 18. nothing but my desire. just me and whatever i want to do.
this will also probably be my last peaceful week during summer since i’ll have an internship lined up when i come back and things to pack to get ready for college.

summer is known for its laid back afternoons under the sun and endless hours spent doing nothing
and for a person like me whose been involved in some kind of prep of every form ib, sat, grade 8 english since i was in diapers, this summer has really been an oasis.
we feel bad for doing nothing yet we don’t feel bothered to do anything.
the one thing you can infer out of this is human beings are damned lazy. we all need obligations imposed on us to work.
but the one great thing you do realize is what motivates you to overcome that seemingly insurmountable inertia to do something.

no, i haven’t discovered a subject that i’m totally consumed in atm.
rather, i’ve discovered that i have so far have not tried to derive my daily entertainment from computer games, anime, tv series, clubbing, alcohol
i’ve so far successfully read two books, learnt 20 lessons of basic java, the rest of my time i’ve spent with people (in non-alcoholic environments), especially with a special person.
and that i realize my motivator, my motivation is people, the basic unit of our civilization.

with the few days remaining of this week, i feel that i should try to figure out my life, give a long hard think as to what i ought to do, choose one of the many ideals i have of my future.
i know that even if i prop up my pillow on the wall and think for a whole night, it ain’t going to be as good as giving it a shot and really trying.
but as a teenager like all others, i’m trying to figure out my life once and for all. hopefully, i can work it out in once in the least occupied summer of my lifetime because i know whatever i think now is of who i really am, without pressure, without constraints so that i don’t have to do this the hard way with sweat and tears and in pain.


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