maine #1

(from Thanksgiving weekend)

it’s interesting to think how i ended up here, in Maine, on Chebague Island, writing this at 2am, starting from Brown, from USA, from Hong Kong.
life seemed so terminal, so finite in high school, there was only one path, one way to do it, to leave it.
but in the past three months, so many more doors seemed to have opened up.

life is different here.
it’s not a joke, not a lie. it’s true. people live differently.
they have stars (and the time) to look at. they sit around the dinner table and talk.
if it was at my home, i probably would have been made to do ten errands in that span of time already.

i’m glad i didn’t go to NYC or Boston and go to places and shop.
I’m glad i lived with a family, and learnt something about life, about living.
i left the Brown bubble so i would know what life was beyond the Van Wickle gates.
what it meant to live as a teenager in this part of the world, drive a car to watch a movie,laugh, eat, make jokes, play card games. laugh at each other, about sterotypes, states, asians, brain slips.
these are the things i wanted to learn.
and i’m glad i had the chance to because it is different from what i know.

after 1, i was cynical and boisterous/loud
after 2, i was even more cynical
after 3, i was planned, convinced, fully ready

nick and norah’s infinite playlist is a good movie
good movie that pops that bubble, makes me realize that there’s so much more to life than Brown.
we get narrow minded by living our singular lives
i don’t know about college. am i ready for it, for the intensity?
i’ve been wrapped up. i don’t think my true personality has been able to shone through my exterior here, among people.

i’m glad i came to maine
i’m glad i came to chebague, where it’s dreary and cold and despondent.
but then, friends, food, care, the fire feel so much better and stronger.
thank you chebague. you provided shelter when i needed it.

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