90

i’ve always feared this day the day that my mom called me to tell me my grandma is in ICU
she’s not dead yet.
but in the past four days, she’s been in the hospital, she’s been busy talking to everyone she sees, all the nurses, all the doctors after being home bounded for the last twenty years. flirting at the age of 90.
she’s finally seeing the day of light and getting to see people. she’s been talking so much that she’s getting a sorethroat. and we all think she’s enjoying the attention.
maybe it is nice if she passed on just now after having the time of her life.

i have two particular views about life and death.
everyone needs a reason to live. my grandma’s view has been to see all her grandchildren get married. but what happens done, when there is so much hype to the event, what happens when it is over? is there any more reason to live? is there danger from attributing our reason to live to just one thing.

when do we remorse about death?
are u ever too busy to feel sad? i think there’s been times in my life where that happened to me. drowning yourself in work, in other things that are not thinking help move the topic away from your head. that’s what i fear if this news comes when i’m in a point in life that i’m totally absorbed in something else.

are we keeping her alive for selfish reasons when she’s home-bound, 90 and tired?

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