written on Nov 1st, 2011
i’m trying to start my engineering lab report.
and it just feels so so pointless.
i don’t know where this feeling crept up but ever since i started doing bryte, i’ve been starting to realize the disparity between worlds.
and unlike some other people, i live with a lot of my thoughts. i can’t ignore them with other people.
over time, this sort of conscience of mine has been restructured, torn apart and rebuilt many times, this one a bit more incomplete and asymmetrical than the previous one.
and now i’ve reached a huge stump.
i don’t know why i’m learning anymore.
seriously, what is the point of learning anymore?
to get ahead? to get a higher gpa?
they don’t make sense at all.
i’m looking at all these text books i own of pure math, e&m, differential equations.
what value do i create in this world with all this knowledge?
i want to change the world. and i feel like i have enough knowledge to save many lives already. so why am i here?
it doesn’t help that reading this article: http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2011/06/06/110606crat_atlarge_menand?currentPage=all
makes me feel that all i’m learning is specialized knowledge, of the properties of the natural world, of the relationship between one abstraction and another.
i agree with the article that the skills we really need to learn are critical thinking, analytical skills.
and it doesn’t seem to me that we necessarily learn those in engineering, at least not for application in the real world.
is it because this semester is extremely difficult? yes. and i don’t find any more reason in burying my head and doing sth like this anymore.