now i become death, the destroyer of worlds – oppenheimer

i’ve always had that conflict of whether becoming more corrupt is a sign of maturation or well, corruption.

don’t know if i’ve shared this. but i read this recently and imediately read the whoel 45 page pdf while waiting for a flight to puerto rico.
it’s affected me somewhat i guess

i had this tendency in the past, especially when i look at some of my earlier blog posts.
this tendency is classify right and wrong, the Judo-Christian idea of sin, wrongfulness.
this is especially true in Western philosophy. there’s a really really strong desire and need to classify things as right and wrong, hence the successful science method

but the above reddit post, my realization that life is a huge complicated mess where you are unable to predict the final ramifications of your actions and my upbringing in a very morally ambiguous place like hong kong,
has made me realize that right/wrong is separated by a very thin line. and what seems right/wrong at the time may not be in a moment’s time.

another more meta-way to think about it is try to imagine humans as another creature. think of a civilization of 16-legged octopus like creature. what would be the same and what wouldn’t be. all those questions await.

duty is one of those words that i’ve come to accept.
the other of those is simply acceptance, acceptance that the life i have already lived part of and will live is sinful.  


astrophysics life principles in simple terms

so we established the meaningless point of life.
the next point is deciding how we want to live that life.
we can live it simply for pleasure but in the end we will always sink lower and lower.

there’s two things to remember.
nothing is ever about you. (pale blue dot)
don’t get caught in the moment.

the other thing is to live for yourself.
you can’t live for anyone else because it’s not going to be able to get you through the rough patches.
self confidence that you can change the world. (we are made of atoms of the universe)
do things because you want to do them.

and if you find yourself doing something you don’t want to,
don’t get caught in the moment.
remember it’s never about you.